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How Does Your Behavior and Your Choices During a Dissolution or Divorce Affect Your Life Afterward?

How Does Your Behavior and Your Choices During a Dissolution or Divorce Affect Your Life Afterward?

Dissolution and divorce are traumatic experiences for most people, and many cannot process what is happening in the “here and now,” let alone perceive that there is a road forward after the divorce or dissolution is completed. As a Columbus dissolution and divorce lawyer with more than 35 years of experience I can tell you that the actions of the parties during the dissolution or divorce proceedings have a profound impact on their own quality of life in the months and years that follow.  This is especially true if you share children and parenting with a former spouse.

The ending of a marriage is almost always an emotional and difficult experience. I understand my client’s disappointments, hurts and anger.  I have been through the experience myself, and have counseled hundreds of people who are going through the process.  One of the best lessons I can help a client  experience is to learn to separate the personal and emotional disappointments and hurts from the practical and legal decisions that must be made in order to complete a dissolution or divorce.  This takes time.  Hand-in-hand with this idea is another simple fact:

The experience you have with your former spouse going through a dissolution or divorce will greatly affect your ability to effectively work through challenges after your marriage has legally ended.

Those who have children are going to have to deal with their former spouse through many different challenges down the road. Your ability to handle that relationship and to work through those challenges will have a significant impact on the quality of your own life, and that of your children.  It is in your own interest, and those of the children, to choose a different path forward.

What does this mean? I work with my clients to help them to identify the things that are truly important to them.  These are the areas where we naturally hold a firmer line.   But the key to resolving a dissolution or divorce is a fair spirit of “give and take.”  I work to help my clients to understand the nature of these issues and to establish a working relationship with the other party and their attorney whenever possible.

Experiences like negotiating the division of assets and debts and developing parenting plans don’t have to be antagonizing vengeful proceedings. When the separating spouses are able to develop the capacity to find common ground, work through issues of genuine and principled disagreement and reach solutions they can live with they establish new patterns that will carry into life following the dissolution or divorce.  They establish a new tone that creates a more positive atmosphere in their own lives, and in those of the children.